RHB Convocation Address
I look around today and I see excitement and hope in many eyes.
But I also know that some of us, well along into our lives and into our careers, will sometimes will swipe a cynical brush down a young and fresh canvas.
I am 51 years old and have held a number of positions in many different industries. I've had great successes and I've had a few failures and heartbreaks.
Perhaps this life then has given me a little perspective.
So this is what I wish to pass onto this year's graduating class.
When the celebrations die down, put a list together of what you imagine would be your ideal job. Seek out people who do now you may want want to do someday. Politely ask them for a few minutes of their time. Ask them:
- what they enjoy about their job
- what they do not enjoy about it
- how their industry has changed since they began
- what they wish they knew when they started down their road
- what their dream job would be right now
- what advice they would give you as you are just starting out
- who they might be able to introduce you to
- what they do for fun in their spare time (we often reveal our true nature when we reveal our passions)
- ask them how you can help them in turn (then try and do exactly that)
Remember that the opinion you receive is from one person only. You need to have a statistically valid sample size before drawing conclusions about an entire profession or an industry. Often when people talk about "the good old days" the days weren't golden, they were.
Practice the art of communication and leadership, join Toastmasters; an amazing organization that looks good on a resume and will provide confidence and feedback you will never get from a classroom or a textbook.
Practice this question "If I could do one thing better, what would it be?"
Practice this question “What is it I did right that you valued?”
Keep your word. If you say you are going to do something, then do it. Or apologize.
Most people treat networking like dieting. They only do it when they have to, and they stop immediately upon reaching their goal. Instead, you should stop dieting and adapt a healthy lifestyle of adding value and staying in touch with people.
Your destiny is often determined by the people you associate with so you should surround yourself with good people who have your own best interests at heart (enough to give you a kick in the butt when they think you are making bad decisions.)
Disassociate your efforts from an expectation of immediate reward. Your reputation should be the results of your action, not the focus of them.
Heartbreak is a part of life. Cynicism is not. Hearts get stronger after being broken. Cynicism builds a callous on our soul. I would rather have friends who loved and lost than people around me who were tired and cynical.
Above all, each of us is responsible for what paint goes on our canvas.
Congratulations class of 2010!
We are pleased to announce the new online RHB eCourse will be launched June 2011. This online program will allow a company to generate a culture based on intrinsic reward and ultimately achieve a RHB "3rd gear certification".
Skift gir og bli suksessfull!
Skift gir og bli suksessfull! Her er en kort video som forklarer hva «Real Human Being» og de tre girene er.
Norwegian translation courtesy of a RHB in Norway!
Troque de marcha e tenha sucesso!
Troque de marcha e tenha sucesso! Este é um pequeno video que explica o que é Real Human Being e as três marchas de comportamento
Portuguese translation courtesy of Claudia El-moor RHB
Let's all fight for the same thing
Canada celebrates Remembrance Day on November 11. Every year I edit and re-post my "What I fight" blog.
Firstly, newspapers carefully design headlines to create anger and angst. This sells papers. Think about the generalities this headline suggests. It implies "all" veterans are offended by "all students." Don't be manipulated.
So how do we get the white poppy people and the red poppy people to sit down and discuss their goals?
In 1973 I was 13 years old. My dad was transferred to a Canadian military base in West Germany as part of Canada's NATO commitment. Growing up in a military family that relocated every 2 or 3 years, I had grown accustomed to a transient lifestyle.
A week after we arrived in Lahr, my family went for a drive through the local countryside. It was a beautiful sunny day and I brought along my camera.
We parked the car and our family made its way down a lane way that ran beside a German cemetery. The flowers were beautiful and the grass was nicely clipped. My mother commented how much she admired the way Germans tended their graveyards (we had lived in Europe 10 years before.) We wandered on a little further and came to a hillside. These gravestones were in disrepair, many overgrown by grass and weeds. I remember Mom expressing her surprise.
In rusty German, she asked a boy in a nearby field why this graveyard was so badly tended.
He answered briefly.
Mom looked at us, "It's a Jewish graveyard."
I believe that Real Human Being Nation started at that moment.
Humans have a tendency to act out of narrow self-interest. (RHB's know this as 1st Gear Behavior ) Companies see first gear manifested among their employees as entitlement, not-my-job-ism and "us against them" behavioral silos. Societies see first gear exhibited as racism, bullying, homophobia and ageism.
One key aspect of 1st gear is often the need to seek out an enemy. Sales hates marketing. Marketing hates Finance. Finance hates HR. And no one can stand head office.
George Carlin used to say " have you ever noticed that everyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac?"
When Adolph Hitler wanted to create solidarity in his country, he had to identify a common enemy. And so, 40 years later, my family came across a graveyard with no one left to love and remember and care for the graves of their relatives.
Perhaps we should stop assigning 1st gear (narrow self interest) behavior to a tribe or a nationality or a religion or a political party or all people who wear a certain colour of a poppy. 1st gear exists within all of us. eg 1st gear might mean someone would deliberately wear a white poppy on Remembrance Day to deliberately antagonize someone else.
2nd gear is external reward or punishment. Many Germans were anti-Semitic because of 2nd gear incentive systems (peer pressure, desire for promotion and status, fear of punishment).
3rd gear is intrinsic reward. It means "doing the right thing."
There are students in 3rd gear who try to do the right thing and there are students in 1st gear who use their agenda to justify offending other people.
There are veterans in 3rd gear who are not threatened by a white poppy and in fact support any idea to stop future conflicts.
Someone who wears a red poppy who is trying to be in 3rd gear would shift past a 2nd gear angry knee-jerk reaction and be comfortable enough in their own skin to engage in dialogue with someone wearing a poppy of another colour.
If we must be offended about something, let's be offended about racism, sexism, intolerance, arrogance or any of the other 1st gear behaviors that plague us all.
I think the best way to "honor the troops" is to reach out and connect with others and prevent conflict from occurring. And that's less about fighting over what colour poppy to wear and more about how we act 365 days a year.
I am always honoured by this email:
"Dave, all is well down south here, about as hot here as it is in Iraq and
Afghanistan right now. Thanks for what you do, building [RHB] bridges between the
communities is the only way we will get out of this mess. Keep up the great
work. [General] Peter [Atkinson] Deputy Commander Fort Hood Texas
A good guy isn't defined by the color of their poppy but by the gear they are in.
Prerad' rýchlost' a staň sa úspešným!
Toto krátke video Vám vysvetlí filozofiu "RHB"
Slovakian translation courtesy of Anglické jazykové štúdio (Adela Dóka RHB)
Becoming a "Real Human Being"
Looking back to my introductory years at the University of Guelph, I really didn’t care much for orientation week. Like most students, it was a week to claim and accumulate as much free stuff as possible.
However, the real purpose of orientation week is to introduce new incoming students to academic, social and cultural communities at the university. Activities and events are intended to give students the foundation they need to succeed not only in school, but hopefully, in the real world later on.
One such event featured an inspirational speaker, Dave Howlett, whom spoke to students about the “Real Human Being” (RHB) philosophy on Sunday September 1st at Peter Clark Hall. His talk provided students with the kind of jump-start I wish I had in my introductory years in university. He didn’t just give tips on how to succeed as a student, but how to succeed as a human being.
Howlett began his session by telling everyone in the crowd to get over themselves and assume that everyone you meet is intelligent. This really caught my attention because I had always valued the importance of a first impression. Especially when it comes to a job interview for example, I wouldn’t want to come across like an unintelligent fool. However, there’s a clear distinction between a first impression and pre-judging somebody that unfairly puts them into a category in your head which is often based solely on superficial characteristics, i.e. mullets and dreadlocks.
Howlett then went on to identify three personalities that we come across daily. First, the person that walks through the door without holding it behind them. Second, the person that holds the door for the person behind them but becomes angry when they are not thanked. Lastly, the person that holds the door for the stranger but doesn’t get angry when they were not thanked. This inevitably forced everyone in the room to reflect upon themselves—who were they? For me, I was the person that expected reciprocity.
As human beings, we naturally thrive on reciprocity. If we do something for somebody, we expect to be acknowledged and appreciated for those actions. It is this type of mentality, Howlett points out, hinders us from becoming a "real human being".
To succeed in life, Howlett says we must all practice being that third person. In addition to assuming that everyone you meet is intelligent, exercising selflessness and not expecting reciprocity will help build your reputation as a person of knowledge, integrity and empathy.
One of the main organizers of the event said that he’s seen Howlett before and clearly felt that he has great value to add to students at the university. “[Howlett] leaves me thinking about my life choices and how to be a better person. [He] is great at making you really think about … how we all have a duty to try and be the best person we can.”
After the event, I couldn’t help but reflect upon the type of person I am and wondered if others felt the same way, particularly first year students. Sure enough, an attendant at the event confirmed the impact of the RHB philosophy. “I am a new incoming first-year and was very moved by the talk and it made me feel very motivated to become a better person.” They said through an e-mail correspondence to the event organizers. “I think the university should have made the attendance mandatory.”
For more information about the RHB philosophy, visit: http://realhumanbeing.org/
Feedback from Annemarie Pedersen, Industry Communications Director at Canada Beef Inc.
I have hired a number of speakers for events over the years so I know the challenges of trying to find someone who will ‘wow’ the audience and also reflect the vision and values of the sponsor.
I recently employed Dave Howlett to deliver a dinner keynote for our annual Canada Beef conference. The audience were professionals representing different sectors of the Canadian beef industry including beef producers; they are strong-minded individuals with strong opinions. As part of our rebranding exercise, we are trying to get our industry representatives to set narrow self-interest aside and unite behind the Canadian Beef brand. After all a brand is a result of thousands of interactions that fulfill the brand promise.
Dave’s humorous and poignant keynote about how anyone can shift gears and be “one of the good guys” garnered us rave reviews. We still have people, a week later, contacting us and telling us how impressed they were with that presentation. The RHB “3-gear”concept is brilliant in its simplicity and remarkable in its longevity. One of our attendees had heard him speak at another conference three years before and came up afterwards to mention how RHB had made an major impact in her husband’s life.
If you want a low-maintenance inspirational speaker who will create a long-lasting behavior change with your employees or attendees, call Dave Howlett.
How To Network The RHB Way
Everyone tells you the best way to find your dream job is to network – but I've always found that people hate networking (it just seems slick and insincere)
Most of us treat networking like dieting. We hate it and we stop it as soon as we can.
What if you could meet thousands of people of different professions (from students to CEOs) who would help you?
That's what RHB Nation is all about – and we've been recruiting RHBs for years.
Remember, networking isn't bad, it's the gear you're in when you network that determines if you are successful or not. Watch this animation on the gears please.
Traditional First Gear Networking for a Job or a new client. (narrow self interest)
- email everyone you know and ask if they can help you (eg get a job).
- email your resume to everyone, including people you haven't kept in touch with for years.
- rely on a friend/your Mom/your brother-in-law to get that perfect position for you.
- recognize that "good things just sell themselves" and you'll get that position if you just wait long enough.
- get upset that you are unqualified because you are too old/young/under-educated/over-educated/not good looking enough
- get upset when you don't hear back from a company after posting your resume or leaving a message.
- ignore people you perceive who can't help you or who aren't your 'target market."
- you become a RHB to get what you need, then you stop being a RHB.
Second Gear Networking for a Job or a Client (reciprocity)
- you are nice to people as long as they are nice to you
- people who are rude or inconsiderate get rude and inconsiderate behaviour back
- you become a RHB and you try to help people….until you get what you need….then you drop back to 1st gear and stop being a RHB.
- you pay someone to help you get a job (and that's OK, but it second gear)
RHB 3rd Gear Networking (intrinsic reward)
- first you need to be likable, then you need to be specific, then you need to put more out there than you ever get back.
- make a list of industries/companies or individuals you would like to be introduced to.
- buy 10 thank you cards and 10 stamps (minimum).
- put together an Outreach Document. If you are confused or frustrated by where to go and what to do to find prospects, try read this great book by Dr. Barbara Moses.
- pick up the phone and start calling friends and family. Invite them out for a coffee. Renew your friendship and then ask if they can help you. Show them this document and ask if they know anyone on the list. Ask how you can help them. Ask for permission to call these people and use their name. remember, these aren't job interviews, they are informational interviews.
- treat everyone with respect, the secretary, the bus driver, the neighbor. Opportunities come for you after people ask themselves "will she/he make me look good or make me look bad?"
- start off with this script to open the conversation then have a list of questions ready.
-eg how long have you worked for your company?
-eg do you enjoy what you do?
-eg how did you find the company/how did they find you?
-eg where do you see the company going?
-eg what are your biggest challenges?
-eg do you see any fit for someone of my background and experience in your company or industry?
-eg is there anything I can do to help you?
BTW Try to find something you have in common with the callee (residence, schooling, family, sports, etc) .
- send thank you cards to your friend who referred you to the individual and to the individual. Make sure they are specific, sincere and searchable.
- Don't be upset if people forget to return your call or are tardy in getting back to you. Keep the pipeline full. Be persistant but not pushy. Keep paying it forward and if you get down – keep asking people how you can help them. The go out and keep your promises. That's 3rd gear. Need more a review? You can check out a summary or order a RHB video on the store,
- consider becoming part of the RHB community. We have thousands of folks who believe in the concept of trying to be a good guy or an amazing woman. We can't guarantee you a job or a new client, but we may be able to get you an introduction. Your job is not to make anyone look bad. Interested? Connect through Facebook, Linked In or come to one of our seminars run by a RHB Ambassador. Remember though, if you choose to join RHB, you need to do so in 3rd gear, not 1st gear.
- You don't stop being a RHB after you get that job or client. Your job is the wave, your promotion is the wave, success is the wave. You do what you do because that's who you are and that's your reputation.
The lawyer who changed my life
When I was in my twenties, I taught scuba diving through our dive store in Ottawa, Canada. One day I noticed one of my regular customers pulling up to the store his late model BMW. Steve practiced law at a local firm; he was someone RHBs would term "a good guy." I helped Steve select a new mask for his upcoming vacation to the Bahamas.
At the cash register, he suddenly asked, "Dave, what do you like to do?" I thought about the question and replied, "Well, I like to teach, I like to meet new people and to make them laugh, I enjoy travel, and I get a kick out of solving problems. I'm a bit of an idea guy." He continued,"and what is it you DON'T you like to do?" I knew the answer to that question as well. "I suppose I don't like doing paperwork or all that financial stuff."
He nodded his head, "then you'll be successful." "Why?" I replied, "I just told you the things I don't like to do." "No, what you told me was you know what you're good at and what you're not good at. Dave, make certain you continue to do the stuff you are passionate about. Learn enough about the other things so you can hire a competent person to do them. Too many of my clients think they can do it all. They can't. And that's often why they fail."
I never forgot that chat. It has helped me whenever my ego started to get in the way of my performance.
Remember to know your limitations and find good guys and amazing women to fill the gaps.
Shift gears and get successful!
Here's a little video to explain Real Human Being and the 3 gears of behavior!
Feedback from Paresh Mistry, President of Down Syndrome Awareness of Peel
Down Syndrome Awareness of Peel is focused on increasing awareness around the challenges that face individuals with Down Syndrome in our communities, in hopes of creating a future where our children can reach their full potential as human beings with unique strengths who bring value to society.
We were seeking an international speaker to attract, inspire and entertain a large audience at our first annual fundraising gala. After much searching we finally decided to hire Dave Howlett. Dave’s uplifting message of Real Human Being was perfect for our needs. Not only did he incorporate our vision into his talk, he made the audience laugh and think. You could actually see the light-bulbs turn on as they made both a personal and professional shift from narrow self-interest towards “do the right thing” behavior. I have no doubt the RHB approach will continue to impact attendees and help us solicit their support as we grow. I would recommend Dave Howlett to any association that wants to reward sponsors or generate new supporters.