eCourse Announcement

We are pleased to announce the new online RHB eCourse will be launched June 2011. This online program will allow a company to generate a culture based on intrinsic reward and ultimately achieve a RHB “3rd gear certification”.

RHB Convocation Address

I look around today and I see excitement and hope in many eyes.

But I also know that some of us, well along into our lives and into our careers, will sometimes will swipe a cynical brush down a young and fresh canvas.

I am 51 years old and have held a number of positions in many different industries. I’ve had great successes and I’ve had a few failures and heartbreaks.

Perhaps this life then has given me a little perspective.

So this is what I wish to pass onto this year’s graduating class.

When the celebrations die down, put a list together of what you imagine would be your ideal job. Seek out people who do now you may want want to do someday. Politely ask them for a few minutes of their time. Ask them:

  • what they enjoy about their job
  • what they do not enjoy about it
  • how their industry has changed since they began
  • what they wish they knew when they started down their road
  • what their dream job would be right now
  • what advice they would give you as you are just starting out
  • who they might be able to introduce you to
  • what they do for fun in their spare time (we often reveal our true nature when we reveal our passions)
  • ask them how you can help them in turn (then try and do exactly that)

Remember that the opinion you receive is from one person only. You need to have a statistically valid sample size before drawing conclusions about an entire profession or an industry. Often when people talk about “the good old days” the days weren’t golden, they were.

Practice the art of communication and leadership, join Toastmasters; an amazing organization that looks good on a resume and will provide confidence and feedback you will never get from a classroom or a textbook.

Practice this question “If I could do one thing better, what would it be?”

Practice this question “What is it I did right that you valued?”

Keep your word. If you say you are going to do something, then do it. Or apologize.

Most people treat networking like dieting. They only do it when they have to, and they stop immediately upon reaching their goal. Instead, you should stop dieting and adapt a healthy lifestyle of adding value and staying in touch with people.

Your destiny is often determined by the people you associate with so you should surround yourself with good people who have your own best interests at heart (enough to give you a kick in the butt when they think you are making bad decisions.)

Disassociate your efforts from an expectation of immediate reward.  Your reputation should be the results of your action, not the focus of them.

Heartbreak is a part of life. Cynicism is not. Hearts get stronger after being broken. Cynicism builds a callous on our soul. I would rather have friends who loved and lost than people around me who were tired and cynical.

Above all, each of us is responsible for what paint goes on our canvas.

Congratulations class of 2010!

You never know

I don’t make good guys, I just find them.

This week I accompanied my wife as she was shoe shopping at Holt Renfrew in Toronto. I’m fascinated by the luxury brand market, its target market and the challenges of selling luxury items in these turbulent economic times.

I struck up a conversation with Mr. Francesco Pagnotta, a sales associate at Holt Renfrew. I discovered Francesco has been in the luxury trade for almost 30 years.

“Are you ready to write a book yet?” I joked.

“Haha, I likely could do that after all these years” he replied

“Francesco, my company is called Real Human Being Inc, part of the RHB code is to ‘assume everyone is intelligent’ – does that play a part in your business?”

He smiled, “Oh yes, in fact, one of our challenges is to ensure our employees do not pre-judge customers and assume they can or cannot afford the merchandise based on their appearance.”

“Could you give me an example?” I inquired.

“Well, a while back a young man in a sweatshirt and track pants walked into our woman’s footwear department. I’ve learned always to treat everyone with respect, because you never know, and so I tried to help him the best I could. He told me he wanted to purchase some shoes for his girlfriend. I assisted him and he selected 2 pairs of shoes. It turned out he was Phil Kessel of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Now, whenever he or his girlfriend come to this department, they ask for me.”

Whether you are selling a luxury product or not, the key to a “good guy reputation” is to sell in the correct gear.

1st gear – your actions are based on narrow self interest; you are tempted to pre-judge customers to get the best return on your time investment.
2nd gear – your actions are based on external reward; you are polite and professional as long as they purchase the product.
3rd gear – your actions are based on an intrinsic reward system; you are polite and professional to everyone, whether they buy or not. (The customer could purchase that day, they could return another day or they could refer a friend to you.)

The consistency and independence of a 3rd gear mindset will take you down the life-long path to developing a good guy reputation like Francesco’s.

And if you find yourself drawn to the Bloor Street Holt Renfrew in your quest for a nice pair of Prada or Louboutin shoes, say hello to Francesco for me and tell him you’re a RHB as well!

Perhaps we need RHB Talk Radio

Yesterday I listed to AM 640 radio in Toronto. The host was asking listeners to call in and “tell us what you did when someone parked too close to you, did you leave a note or worse?” Some of the responses:- “I let the air out of their tires”
- “I left a nice 4 inch crease in their door”
- “My friend has stickers I use, they show Mickey Mouse giving the finger and telling the motorist they are a jerk”
- “I keep a tube of crazy glue that really holds the note on nice and tight.”

I turned off the radio half-way through this caller’s response: “I saw this guy last week park in a handicapped spot and he walked into a drug store. He didn’t look handicapped, so I had some tools in the back of my car and I …” Ironically (though not surprisingly) all the callers were male. It seems “payback” is hard-wired ino the male psyche. I felt like calling into the show with this response:

“I have been listening to many of your callers talk about their payback tactics to remind these (as you say) morons about proper behavior. These behaviors would be what I call 2nd gear responses: an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is often how we like to behave. I have also noticed all your callers to be men. You know, when we call someone “a good guy” it signifies he is acting in 3rd gear, that is to say he doesn’t mirror the actions of people around him. Good guys don’t key a car or leave a dent. Good guys calmly address the situation, sometimes with a diplomatic note, sometimes by letting it go. Why? Because it’s the right thing to do. And besides, that person who parked too close to you could be thoughtless. Or they could be a woman who just lost her husband to cancer and who was trying to park her husband’s large vehicle. She is in the store purchasing some food for her friends who are coming by after the funeral. And because you are a good guy, now she won’t won’t have to call CAA.”

Perhaps this city (and this world) needs a RHB call-in show.

What I fight – 2011

It is Remembrance Day. Many people in Canada are wearing a poppy to honour those who have fallen in war.

And so I must ask: what do I fight?

Canadians fought the Germans, the Koreans, the Vietnamese, the Chinese. Some became friends and trading partners, some became enemies again, but then they were friends again.

In “The War on Terror”  we are told to seek out and punish the terrorists.  Some people who were Muslim attacked us or plotted to kill us, but not all Muslims. My brother has served twice in Afghanistan and has seen some Afghans attack and kill Canadian soldiers, but not all Afghans.   I read about a senior Canadian officer who had been convicted of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment.  I read about torture and abuse in US military prisons. But most Canadian and US servicemen are good people as well trying to do the best they can. Some people tell me that everyone in a uniform is a hero.  Some people tell me that everyone in a uniform is a villain. It’s all so confusing.

Wait a minute – I know.

In 1973 I was 13 years old.  My dad was transferred to a Canadian military base in West Germany as part of Canada’s NATO commitment. Growing up in a military family that relocated every 2 or 3 years,  I had grown accustomed to a transient lifestyle.

A week after we arrived in Lahr, my family went for a drive through the local countryside.  It was a beautiful sunny day and I brought my camera.

We stopped the car and we walked down a lane way that ran beside a German cemetery. The flowers were beautiful and the grass was nicely clipped. My mother commented how much she admired the way Germans tended their graveyards (we had lived in Europe 10 years before.)  We wandered on a little further and came to a hillside. The gravestones were in disrepair, many were overgrown by grass and weeds.   I remember Mom expressing her surprise.

In rusty German, Mom asked a boy in a nearby field why this graveyard was so badly tended.

He answered briefly.

Mom looked at us, “It’s a Jewish graveyard.”

I believe that Real Human Being Inc started at that moment.

Humans have a  tendency to act out of narrow self-interest.   (RHB’s know this as First Gear Behaviour)  My client companies see first gear manifested among their employees as entitlement, not-my-job-ism and behavioral silos.   Societies see first gear exhibited as racism, bullying, homophobia and ageism.

A key aspect of first gear is the need to seek out an enemy.  eg Sales hates marketing. Marketing hates Finance. Finance hates HR.  And everyone hates Corporate.

“Everyone going faster than me is a maniac, everyone going slower than me is a moron” said George Carlin.

When Adolph Hitler wanted to create pride in his country,  he had to identify an enemy. And so, 40 years later, my family came across a graveyard with no one left to love and remember and care for the graves of their relatives.

Perhaps we should stop assigning first gear (narrow self interest) behavior to a tribe or a nationality or a religion or a political party.

There were Germans who were good guys/amazing women and there were Germans who believed in racial superiority.

There are Muslims who are good guys/amazing women and there are Muslims in first gear who use their religion to justify oppression of people.

There are people on the left and people on the right who are good guys/amazing women and there are members of political parties who have to ridicule other parties or their leaders to make them feel better about themselves.

And there are people in every division of every company and every sector of every community who are in third gear and there are those who are in first gear.

A Canadian veteran who is a third gear good guy has more in common with Afghan woman who is an amazing woman than he does with a veteran who only think about themselves and tells racist jokes.

So what do I fight?

I fight the attribute of long-term, entrenched first gear behavior.

People can stay in their tribe and continue to be proud of their company, family, religion or political party.  But their third gear character ensures they respect the beliefs and values of other RHBs.   Their reward is being accepted into a company of heroes. And you don’t need to wear a uniform to be a hero.

That’s why RHB Nation was founded on a summer’s day in 1973: to unite the people who heroically try to do the right thing.

So wear a poppy and, if you must fight something, fight the racism, sexism, intolerance, arrogance or any of the other 1st gear behaviors that plague us all.

Dave

(and here’s the end of the story. When we returned a week later, the grass in the graveyard had been neatly clipped.  Please see the photo. Sometimes just asking the question can make a difference.)

RHB for Kids

One of Canada’s largest IT companies has hired our consulting team to help them create a Real Human Being Customer Service culture. Two weeks ago, one of their employees arrived at a meeting slightly stressed; Trish had just gotten off the phone with the principal of her son’s school. Her 8 year old son has several food intolerances and they were contributing towards some behavioral problems in class. After the meeting, I gave Trish a RHB pin to give to her son and asked her to explain the 3 gears to him. Here is her response:

—————
[2 weeks ago]

Hi Dave,

My son was very curious about being a “real human being”. We talked about holding the door for someone at Tim Horton’s and how not holding it is first gear, holding it but getting upset that the person didn’t say thank you is second and how holding it open because it’s the right thing to do is third (and it doesn’t matter if you get a thank you or not). I was in my car (standard) so we talked about how jerky first gear can be (and I demonstrated it) how much smoother third is and how much faster we can get where we are going in third gear. (I told him second is just being stuck between being selfish and doing the right thing) We talked about some behaviors for school. He kept adding “because it the right thing to do”. Which impressed me.
When he gets home tonight I hope to hear of at least one 3rd gear observation he saw or did today. I figure noticing someone else in third gear is a good way to start getting there yourself.”

[today]

Hi Dave,

I spoke to my son again this morning about this. He’s happy to share his story.
For a treat this morning, we went to Tim Horton’s and he pointed out 2 people in 3rd gear (and why). It’s becoming more and more a part of his day and how he looks at situations.

He might have been”a really bad dude” but he was a human being. 3rd gear in Afghanistan.

Dave,

I’ve been experiencing a little anxiety about typing this up. I believe mainly it is my inherent desire to not show anybody in a “bad” light. I tend to really like to focus on people’s good qualities and at least try to understand some of the not-so-good. I think if we can understand or identify with where the “3rd Gear” comes from, we can possibly plant a seed to help that person learn, too.

That being said, here is my story.

I was deployed to Afghanistan in 2007-2008 as a medic. As we drew toward the end of our deployment, I ended up back at our “base” camp. It was here that I ended up doing a lot of work in our Patient Hold area. (Extended post-op, waiting on transport, needs 24 hours of bedrest, etc.)

One day, we had a wounded enemy POW come in and we were informed he would be staying for the night.

So, as usual, there were a couple of medics on “duty”, but because of the sensitive nature, we also had some extra hands for guard.

The guy wasn’t exactly a cheerful participant in his medical care. We were all subjected to spitting and some minor flailing about during procedures, etc.

It didn’t take any time at all for the other medics to get irritated and start throwing the insults and slurs around. I tuned it out like I always did until I noticed one of the medics getting really rough with the patient. Then another one said they weren’t going to give him any pain management.

I couldn’t stand by and watch. I tried to say something directly about it, but was met with disdain, accusations of sympathizing, and summarily ignored.

Ultimately, I filed a formal report and, together with the OIC, picked a few people that we knew were in “3rd Gear” as the only authorized medics for his care.

Of course, at the time, I didn’t know about 3rd Gear or RHB’s. What I DID know is that I was a medic. I was bound by the Geneva Convention as well as my own morals. Not to mention, I know that if *I* were a prisoner, I would be terrified and hoping against hope that MY captors were following the rules.

The argument that “they don’t follow the Geneva Convention” was one that was often used in defense of bad behavior toward the local national population. My question was always “Well, then if we don’t follow what we have sworn to follow and go around the law because of our personal feelings, aren’t we doing the exact same thing??”

I love my country. More than that, I love my WORLD. I live on this Earth with a LOT of people. Some of them are not very nice. I know it sounds a little corny, but I can’t help but believe that my insistence on treating him humanely had some small impact on that man’s life. I know the interpreter told him I was fighting FOR him and not against him. He stopped fighting me so much when he knew it was me.

He might have been a “Really Bad Dude”. I have no idea. But he was a human being. He was hurt. That’s all I saw.

Sincerely,
Holly

Feedback from a RHB: Vocabulary Lessons

Setting:

Downtown Toronto, northbound lane at Jarvis and Shuter Streets to be exact.

Time:

Prime of rush hour.

 

Scenario:

My car decides it’s had enough of the heat and dies. D.E.A.D.

Subsequent Events:

1. With sheer momentum, I roll to the only place I can to avoid blocking the main lanes of traffic, which I soon discover happens to be a bike lane. Yup. The race course of the cities finest.

2. With blinkers on, windows cracked in the sweltering 80+ degrees of the oven that is a car in prime summer heat, the badgery commenced….

I have never heard so many curse words, insults, threats, and everything of the sort in my life. I’m confident to say I’ve added at least a dozen words to my vocabulary. Even if they are of the sorted kind.

All types of characters, some took the aggressive offense position with something like “What the bleep is wrong with you you bleeping bleepity bleep, you can’t bleeping park here it’s a bleeping bike lane you bleeper!!!” and then proceeded to pick up their bike and threaten to smash my hood with it. Classy.

I said nor did anything. It was the hottest day we’ve had in 10 years, and I could only imagine how cranky peddling through a sweltering city managing not only the heat but 3 million commuter’s worth of car exhaust could make you. They all looked exasperated.

It was besides the point that there was nothing but a 12 foot barbed wire fence surrounding an empty military compound on my right, and a parking lot across the street at the corner. I hardly could have been parked or waiting for something. Perhaps it was just me, but the only logical explanation for my presence there was car trouble.

Then there were people who chose the passive route of saying “jerk” or “bleeper” but only AFTER they’d passed my window. There was not one person who didn’t make a remark of some sort. Even the cars passing felt they needed to chime in with hronnnnnks and hmrrrrrrrrrrrrr’s.

One gentleman, who had to get off his bike to go around me because the light was red and the next car was too close, lightly made a joke out of it with his comment of “Oh, tight squeeze!” which I then apologized profusely for and explained that my car had died, he was quite concerned and even offered to call me a tow, to which I told him I’d already called and was just waiting, he smiled, wished me luck and was off.

There was one other young man, who at another red light stopped at my window to wait because it was too tight to get through. He said to me with proper Toronto youth attitude “WHAT are you DOING?” to which I informed him my car had died and I was waiting for a tow. He then apologized saying he didn’t want to be a bleep, I told him it was pretty mild compared to what I’d already heard. He wished me luck and peddled off.

I quickly learned to dread my rear-view mirror, and every speck that appeared in it all the way down to Lakeshore. Watching them get closer… closer… Like that invisible mosquito you hear buzzing incessantly around your head, not able to see it or swat away, just knowing that any second it’ll land and sink it’s venom into you…

I must first ask, when on earth did the entire city start riding their bikes??! Don’t get me wrong, I’m absolutely an advocate of green living and cutting down on carbon footprints, but I had no idea… To keep myself sane, I actually started counting the cyclists. Approximately 137. Not including the people who passed while I was on the phone sorting everything out and was distracted.

Out of 150 odd people, only one person tried to make light out of it. One. One person, that although I’m sure his initial internal monologue was saying “bleeper”, he chose to make a joke out of it. To which a civil conversation and understanding pursued.

After all was said and done, having been told by C.A.A. that they’d be at least two and a half hours, after I’d already waited an hour and a half, I pulled the Mum Card…

I interrupted her at a fundraiser, that I was supposed to be at, to ask for help. Within five minutes I had a call back, with people offering their “member since 1960″ C.A.A. numbers with the hope that the extended membership might mean more immediate service, unfortunately not. I’m not sure I have the acting skills to pass for a near octogenarian anyway, I was certainly willing to try though.

To my (and my ears) saving grace, there was an old family friend who offered his name and a referral to a tow truck company. I called and layed my case; They were there in 10 minutes. The driver was very kind and even offered to drop me off at the fundraiser. My knight in shining tow truck!

I walked into the establishment where the dinner was being held, looking somewhat melted and disheveled, and was greeted by hostesses, waiters and aides of all sort who were very concerned and asking all about what had happened, if they could do something or if I needed anything. My first thought: My mum sure has a big mouth! The rest of the evening couldn’t have been better, everyones kindness and genuine concern instantly washed away all of the insults. My new vocabulary on the other hand, I think I may hold onto.

;)

Katharine

 

What gear are you in when the river rises?

[ A note from a RHB Mikelle Archer of Landmark ASP -  Mikelle is one of the designers for the new RHB eCourse]

This last week has been a rough one here.  We are currently preparing for a flood in the area [Sioux City, Iowa].  The dams up north have been releasing record amounts of water (not done and will be increasing the amount that is being released) that will eventually come our way.  At this point, we have low lying areas around the area that are flooded, but the river is expected to go up possibly another six feet.  We have moved our office to our homes, so you will need to either contact me directly via my cellular, via skype when I am available and use my personal email address after hours.  I spent much of last week trying to help as much as I could to prepare for this.  Other than the move from the office, my home is not in an area that could flood.  I would still be out there if I could!  I have pictures on my facebook of the flooding if you are interested.  Interesting what a flood or an emergency or tragic event can do for people… people of each gear come out of the woodwork!  You have 3rd gears spending any time they can to help… expecting no thank you… just the assurance that they have helped…. in some way… you have others posting how much work they have done to get a “thank you”… in second gear… and those expecting everyone to run and help them… the government should be providing the sandbags and the people to put them in place… and they should not have to do anything…. there are trucks driving madly around here with dirt and sand, building levee’s… so you get to see a lot of different gear behaviors in the road these days too!  I have been posting a lot of links and pictures for people that are in the area and from the area… to keep them in the know of what is happening.  Still does not seem real.

 

RHB Incorporated announces new Speaker Manager for Dave Howlett

Juli-Ann Sannuto Rhb has a background in team leadership and project management, and shared her 21 years experience across the financial services, marketing and communication industries. In every role, she is recognized for her contagious enthusiasm and organizational abilities. As an RHB, she is a regular contributor to my Facebook wall and has recently project managed the completion of the RHB eCourse. She has often said, “The world needs more RHB’s” and she is passionate about seeing the RHB principles adopted by as many people as possible. Don’t hesitate to contact her at juliann@realhumanbeing.org to learn more about Real Human Being presentations for your company or your industry!

RHB eCourse questions

To all the RHB eCourse Beta Testers – you can either send me a direct question (dave@realhumanbeing.org) or post your question here. I’ll answer it so everyone else can benefit from the answer.

If you want to see how we are positioning to eCourse to companies, please watch this.